Fuck you Snow Car

I was taking a break from plowing this morning and and had a little extra time, so I wrote this:

This is to you:

The lazy, non-snow-removing fucktards speeding through rush hour traffic with untouched snow on your car. 

I watched dozens of you assholes driving moving fucking snowforts around this morning. 

Yes, you:

Assholes driving $40,000 luxury SUVs covered in snow.

What? 

You couldn't afford a $5 snow brush? 

It pisses me right the fuck off when I see your moving fucking snow banks going down the road with a small patch of hazed over windshield peeking out

There you are: weaving in and out of traffic...a blizzard of powder in your wake. 

Sometimes if you tromp on the gas, half the snow on the roof falls onto the car behind you.

But there you go...ice encrusted wipers furiously working to clear away the snow blowing back from the uncleared hood. 

If you stepped on the brakes an avalanche will totally block your vision

Fuck you Snow Car drivers

Was it really too much work to warm up your car for a few minutes while clearing the snow with a brush?

Listen up fucktards...Here is what you do:

Stop popping those Prozacs, turn off your cellphone, and have a cup of coffee. 

Then...

1) Go outside.

2) Clear the driver side door

3) Open it.

4) Start your vehicle

5) Turn the defrost on

6) Relock your vehicle (with the spare key none of you silly fucks seem to have) 

7) Go back inside. 

8) Relax for a few minutes while the car warms up. 

Now go grab the kitchen broom (because none of you fools seem to have a goddamn, honest to goodness, snowbrush) and walk back outside and push the fucking 4" of snow off the roof of your car.

After that, you can clear the rest; using a scraper, a CD case, or even a Stop&Shop card to get the ice the broom can't do. 

There you have it: 

A nice, fully squared away, warm vehicle with full visibility that will not be such a menace to every other motorist. 

Sometimes I try to visualize what you assholes are doing inside those roving snow forts...

I see you listening to shitty music at full volume while balancing a bowl of cereal on your lap, drinking a cafe latte, while texting some other asshole just like you about where you'd like to go tonight to get drunk and attempt to dupe some member of the opposite sex in to actually talking to you. 

I despise you Snow Car drivers and you should be very thankful that anti-tank rockets are so hard to come by.